ED Update (TW)

Since I moved, I’ve been trying to eat ‘better’. I really just need to make a fucking meal plan and eat to it. So far, ‘better’ has basically come out as eating ‘a little more’ and, not surprisingly, has resulted in small purges the last few days. And not having a scale is making me […]

Adjusting to New Housemates

I just hope I didn’t pick up bad habits while in sober living for the last 8 months. I am definitely on my best behavior and working to put my best foot forward in my new place. One thing I’ll have to relearn: most people don’t stay up until midnight on work nights. Both of […]

The Last Month

I have basically been batshit crazy for at least the last month. That madness was relieved today when I moved out of the shit show that was the Sober Housing Oregon home I’ve been in since my March relapse, to live in a private home with two very good friends from Refuge Recovery. That house […]

I’m Not Going to Relapse!

Today was a pivotal day for my long term sobriety. After struggling for several weeks in what had become a downright toxic sober living situation (that included two previously my mentioned minor lapses… more on those later), two very good friends in Refuge Recovery offered me the third bedroom in their leased house. I immediately […]

Weird Day

Today was just, sort of, I don’t know… intense? Work continues to go well. Somehow, even though I’m malnourished and dealing with come-again, go-again urges to use, I’m actually able to get some decent stuff done. It is a miracle, and I have tremendous gratitude for the fact, that I have been able to maintain […]

Nootropic Speedball

I am sad. Denying myself my drugs of choice (yay, sobriety!), I turned to nootropics and supplements, kind of like I was doing in Utah last fall. These things certainly don’t get me high in any way, shape or form (i.e., they are not ‘mind altering’). As such, they are perfectly legal and not prohibited, […]


The universe has a fucked up sense of humor. I feel like I am just getting piled on from all sides. Today, my roommate asked me from my urine for a job UA. I said “no”. For all my questionable decisions, I have a blanket policy of never doing that for anyone nor will I […]