Purely Hypothetical (Really)

I just saw this meme (from Clerks) and it caused me to consider something. Obviously, the meme is darkly considering those who rationalize using substances that aren’t as ‘bad’ as others. I get that. I’ve done that. It doesn’t really work that much for me at this point, though. I’m at a point where I […]

Orlando Recovery Center: B Block

ORC B-Block was the eating disorder unit at the rehab I went to last summer. It was a small, segregated wing (about 8 people), set off from the main rehab population of, probably, 50-60 people. We had a very good group of people there. Not surprisingly, I was the only man on the unit up […]

Up and Down

I’ve been all over the place, emotionally the last several days. Monday was horrible. Tuesday was a bit better. Yesterday was off again. I did have a nearly 6 hour tech/dress rehearsal last night which, while long, certainly helped a bit. Today, I seem to be feeling a bit better once more. I’ve just been […]

WTF is Wrong with Me?

I have a great wife, great friends, a great job, a great home, etc. I probably just had the best day I’ve had since I moved to Portland. After close to 18 months of chronically relapsing, I’m finally starting to put my life back together. And all I want to do right now is fucking […]

28″ Waist

Haven’t written much lately as I’ve been sticking to some old fashioned journaling lately. I thought I’d check in briefly, though… So, I just picked up a pair of shorts at Target. They have a 28″ waist. My 29’s were getting loose. 28″ is the smallest waist size they make for men. I’ve only been […]

Falling Apart

Almost everyone seems to think I have my shit together. I, on the other hand, feel like I’m steadily disintegrating and that I’m slipping further into insanity with each passing day. I had an awful day. I was pretty far from rational for a good chunk of the time I was awake today. Actually, when […]


I just wrapped up the Sunday EDA meeting. Our topic of discussion was ‘boundaries’. I’m not very good at them. I’m pretty good at not going over others boundaries; I’ve hurt too many people and am scared of hurting more. I’m pretty bad at setting and enforcing my own. I am willing to do things […]