Dial It Back

I’ve been holding off on writing a bit because I have been at a loss for words recently. It turns out that the mere act of ordering substances online triggered me far worse than I anticipated. When the first thing arrived on Thursday (MDMA), I instantly forgot about using these things to try to improve […]

Dark Web Redux (TW – Rolling)

This was really hard to write. I started writing it 5 days ago. And I just accidentally erased it but I will do my best to recreate. Trigger Warning: I am rolling hard (MDMA) right now. In a nutshell, on Saturday, my roommate A approached me out back having a cigarette and told me to […]

Suicide Prevention

Well, I am late getting started on work today because I came across an article that I’ve been trying to share with as many people as possible that I think it may be relevant for. Can We Stop Suicides? In a nutshell, ketamine can evidently quickly and significantly reduce suicidal ideation and can be legally […]

White, Male Privilege

I’m caucasian and male (though I obviously have a pretty serious mental illness… and don’t forget the fact that I’m a heroin addict). I’ve rarely noticed explicit benefits of being such but I know that they’re there. I just read back to back Op-Eds in the New York Times that helped remind me of that […]

Existential Crisis (TW – Suicidal Ideation)

I finally watched the season opener of Doctor Who just now. I spent most of the time trying to relax my jaw which I think has been clenched for a long time (months?). I’m still catching myself and having to consciously unclench it over and over again. I’m a couple days of cannabis and tapering […]

In Love (Again)

I feel almost stupid writing this. I fall in love too quickly, too hard and with, probably, not the most appropriate people (love that BPD!). I’ve actually seen this coming for a while. I mean, she has been my ‘favorite person’ for some time. Before I go much further, I should say that she does […]