Is my lifestyle unsustainable? I just had a meeting with my manager. Despite being sicker than I ever have been, my productivity at my job has been on a steady upward trajectory for the last several months. This is just one reason, albeit a significant reason, that I am reluctant to go into recovery for my anorexia and drug use. I don’t want to lose my edge at work. This is what prompted my question about sustainability. Am I destined to keep starving and using, while doing better and better at work, until I die young?