My Addiction Doesn’t Surprise Me

It does scare me a little sometimes, though.

I get a weekly supply of oxycodone every Wednesday night. Normally, I’m able to ration them, so I have a couple to spare, in case there’s a snag. Well, being the kind individual I am (to others,  anyway), I gave my spares to my roommate because she has been having both back and knee pain of late. There was a momentary miscommunication between me and my dealer last night and, for a few minutes, I thought I wasn’t going to be able to get more until today.

Wow.

I flat out went into full on panic mode. I did not see that coming although, in retrospect, I’m not at all that surprised.

Today, I was reflecting on what happened and my reaction and I realized that I am terrified at the

prospect

of making it through the day without using some form of opiate.

Ah, the joys of being an addict…

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