Numbing Out

I’m normally in quite a bit of pain (not physical pain, but you know what I mean). I use drugs and restricting to numb that pain, quite effectively I might add. I just realized that I use work to that end also. I get going there and my discomfort melts away. This probably explains why, recently, my weekends have been more difficult than my weekdays. I have more free time to ruminate and it wreaks havoc with my mental state.

Interesting side note: I’m pretty damn good at my job. I shudder to think of my potential if I weren’t high and starving 24/7.

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