I absolutely ruined her Thanksgiving. She doesn’t trust me with the dog (rightfully so, I might add). She read me the riot act today and threatened to tell my ex that I am a “raging drug addict”. Of course, in my mind, I’ve already accepted that that will come to pass, so I take threats like that with a grain of salt.
I don’t know. In some ways, I feel like my drug addiction has brought out my true self and crystalized my personality as one of a truly self-centered, amoral individual.
Thankfully, even though I’m giving up drugs, my eating disorder is still firmly in place. I mean, I am a full blown anorexic and intend to lose as much weight as possible while in rehab, using that as an excuse to put off getting any treatment for the anorexia. After I’m done with rehab, I’ll have to come up with another excuse for not going into treatment for my ED, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.
I was 145 when I weighed myself this morning. Rehab is 8 weeks long. I figure I can get close to 120 by the time that wraps up. I’m hoping I won’t be seeing my regular therapist while I’m in rehab, so I don’t have to lie to my therapist about my weight. That said, if you’ve been following my blog so far, you know that I wouldn’t have a problem lying to my therapist about this, if I had to.