Since I was feeling so much better today, I decided to try to eat something.
I didn’t eat tons, by any measure, but I did eat enough to be very uncomfortable. So, I went to vomit and, for the first time in a very long time, was unable to do so. I’ve probably spent half an hour with my fingers down my throat and… nothing.
Now I’m wiped out from my failed purge and I feel like I’ve got a fucking stone in my stomach. At least I know where I stand with respect to my eating disorder. No (or at least very little) eating for me for the foreseeable future.
The kicker is that I wasn’t even hungry.