I have ribs… and hip bones.
I like the feel of my ribs when I fold my arms and rest my palms against my rib cage.
I like to lie in bed and lay my hands on my hip bones as I fall asleep.
I know it’s wrong to say it, but there are parts of my anorexia that I really enjoy and that I don’t want to give up.
I was talking to my roommate about it and I am really scared to gain any weight. She reflected on being 160. I can’t imagine being that big even though I spent the healthy part of my adult life at a pretty steady 172.
I’m 137 right now. Five more pounds and my BMI will be 18.4 and I’ll officially be underweight. 😀