Bones

I have ribs… and hip bones.

I like the feel of my ribs when I fold my arms and rest my palms against my rib cage.

I like to lie in bed and lay my hands on my hip bones as I fall asleep.

I know it’s wrong to say it, but there are parts of my anorexia that I really enjoy and that I don’t want to give up.

I was talking to my roommate about it and I am really scared to gain any weight. She reflected on being 160. I can’t imagine being that big even though I spent the healthy part of my adult life at a pretty steady 172.

I’m 137 right now. Five more pounds and my BMI will be 18.4 and I’ll officially be underweight. 😀

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