I reviewed my posts from a couple years ago. Given I stopped using halfway through my blog, it wound up being more focused on anorexia. I’m not using now, thankfully, but am all geared up for some starvation. So, expect most of my comments to be on eating disorders. I’m sure I’ll still talk about drugs and, should I relapse, you’ll hear it here first.
I just got a call from a woman I made friends with a couple years ago. She’s a junkie also. She’s been out using more than me. I kinda like her (and have for a while). I mentioned my crush to my wife who wisely pointed out that, if I got involved with her, I’d almost definitely wind up using again. My addict brain, however, knows this and thinks nothing could be greater than shacking up with her… shooting dope and fornicating. I’m fucked up.
Anyway, I’m going to a small BBQ today. The family knows I’m not eating. I’m sitting at 55 calories right now. I could conceivably have half a burger (or something), and stay under 400 for the day. I’ve got my new favorite supplement (glucomannan) that I’ll have in the car, if I start to get peckish.