How am I going to stay clean? 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my post-sober living housing arrangements. I’ve broken it into three possible situations, neither of which will keep me clean by themselves (though they each pose different threats to my sobriety):

  1. Live alone. I did this this year. It failed, horribly. I think this is probably the worst option for me. I don’t want to sound pessimistic, but I believe I’d have a better than 50% chance of relapsing within a year, if I choose to live that way. 
  2. Live with sober roommates. This is currently what I’m leaning toward with a couple of friends from rehab. I really like the support and understanding I get from living with people in recovery (like a sort of mini sober house). The obvious danger is that if someone relapses, they could take me with them (assuming it’s not me doing the relapsing), especially if we share a DoC. I mean, if I learn a roommate is shooting dope, I’m going to struggle to not give in myself. We’ve already discussed this a little and will probably forge a written agreement, detailing consequences of a relapse. I figure this would probably come in at a 10-20% chance of a relapse. That’s not great, but is still way low compared to typical relapse rates for heroin addicts.
  3. Live with normal roommates. This is marginally better than living alone. It’ll keep me from isolating but won’t provide me with much support in terms of dealing with urges and the like. And it certainly won’t keep me clean. (See my adventures with the dark web in Utah a month or two as ago). This probably comes in at around a 20% chance of relapse as well. 

I guess, now that I look at it, I have at least a 1 in 5 chance of going out in 2018. That’s all the more reason to work my recovery hard right now…

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