Feeling Better

I had a very satisfying conversation with a close friend from my summer rehab who has joined me in treatment here in the Pacific Northwest. I still feel the underlying depression, but it’s lifted my spirits enough to make me functional again… and should for at least the next week or two.

Depression

I started falling into a depression about two weeks ago and I am deep in it now. I’ve been unable to work, barely able to write, forcing myself to eat, etc. Now, in the last 48 hours, the suicidal ideation has started up again. I sit in the car, praying to be involved in a […]

Pro-Recovery Tattoos

I’ve got 5 tattoos (6, in another week), all of them inked in the last 3 or 4 months. 3 of them are pro-recovery (4, if you want to count my kids’ names in the shape of a heart). Anyway, they are: Choose Life – an ’80s anti-drug campaign in the UK. It was cleverly […]

Anorexia Redux

I knew it was just a matter of time. In accordance with my ED habits, my bulimia has finally transitioned to anorexia. It started about a week ago, when how much I was eating started to drop (though I continued to purge). Two days ago, I only ate a small dinner the whole days and […]

My Love Life (or Lack Thereof)

There’s a girl I love (she has four months clean). She loves me too. We know how we feel about each other and have discussed a more romantic relationship. The problem is is that she has a boyfriend. From what I’ve seen, their relationship is on it’s last legs. Maybe. Currently, she and we spend […]

EDA

I’m 40 days clean off of heroin today. I’ve had plenty of intense urges, particularly in the last two weeks. I was even triggered by a conversation about bitcoin, thanks to my adventures on the dark web. Of course, being in sober living, if I use, I’ll pretty much instantly become homeless… so that’s an […]