I want to help N. I think I am, just by being there for her. Like me, she has a lot of shit to work through as well. I believe that she has been an anorexic junkie from time to time also.
Anyway, given how she’s feeling I decided today was probably not the best day to tell her I’m falling in love with her. I’d like to do it soon, so I can (try to) dial it back, before I get to far gone, in case she doesn’t respond positively.
It hurts me to see her hurt. It’s probably how she and R felt about me, when I was depressed and wound up in the hospital.
She has agreed to be my SO, for the purposes of my treatment at Monte Nido. I figure, she probably knows me better than anyone else at this point, especially since I haven’t lived with my wife for, like, a year. So, she’s filling out the survey. I’m going to do an ROI for her and, maybe, she’ll come in for a ‘family’ session.
I also told R what was going on between me and N, without some of the details, like the text excerpt I posted last night. She’s pretty happy about it and it makes me feel good that someone as sensible as her thinks it’s a good idea. There is a bit of an age gap (14 years), but it doesn’t bother me and I don’t think it bothers N either. The 14 years isn’t that bad anyway. I’m 43 and she’s 29. That’s certainly not unheard of.