Mania and Depression.

I’m pretty sure…

  • N is depressed.
  • I’m becoming manic.

I just stopped by her place to bring her to my FDA meeting. Once again, she had gotten little sleep the previous night. She has seemed to struggle with decision making since I’ve known her but now, that seems to have gotten a hundred times worse. After going back and forth for over an hour, she finally decided to stay in for some self-care. I fully support her in that.

I was very depressed a few weeks back. Nobody could do anything for me. Now I’m on the other end. I wish there was something I could do to make N feel better but I think this a journey she has to go through on her own. I’ll be there for her, but I’m not going to try to make her better. I can’t.

I, on the other hand, have been logging between 3 and 4 hours of sleep each night for the last couple of nights and have felt pretty damn good. I may be manic (or becoming manic). It’s kinda like doing drugs. I really want it because of how it makes me feel. I also don’t want it because I know it won’t end well. To top it off, I was going to refill my medications today before I remembered that my insurance was temporarily hosed. So, I’ve run out of lithium and Abilify at least for now.

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