Still Manic

I actually got a whopping almost 5 hours of sleep last night! At first I was disappointed because I thought my mania was waning. Well, it isn’t (thank god).

At this point, I’ve had my therapist at both treatment centers tell me to get an emergency prescription of lithium. N had told me. So has R (she even made me promise to tell her I took it… dammit). And S, my house manager. It seems like everyone is out to kill my buzz.

I am doing the next right thing at this point. I’m at the emergency walk-in psych clinic, waiting to be seen. We’ll see what they do with me.

At least I figured out one thing. For the last few weeks, I’ve been relatively anxiety free, yet I’ve had a nervous energy causing me to constantly be making fists with my toes. I thought it was some subconscious anxiety. I’m pretty sure now it was (is) a sign of the extra energy the mania was (is) giving me.

I guess there’s only two important questions associated with my current course of action: will the clinic give me meds and will I take those meds. A ‘no’ to either one of those will leave my mania blessedly intact.

3 thoughts on “Still Manic

  1. I hope they were able to help you out a little bit or give you some advice to help with the mania. I can relate to the insomnia, it’s down right horrible. You’re in my thoughts 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. It’s weird. I’ve had two types of insomnia in my life. I’ve had the type where I spend all night tossing and turning, unable to turn of my brain and ‘waking’ up feeling groggy, tired and out of sorts. My mania-induced insomnia is quite different. I sleep less not because I can’t, but because I don’t want to… I’m not tired. When I finally decided to lay my head down for my three hours of sleep, I usually go down pretty easily (and wake up a few hours later, feeling completely refreshed). And I enjoy the extra hours I have in my day from not having to sleep as much…

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re welcome and I totally understand where you’re coming from. I have dealt with both and they are completely different. Either way, insomnia is not healthy and it’s difficult to manage. I don’t think there’s a specific solution, although some would like to profess or convince others there is, but there is a way to manage our challenges. You have my support 😊

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s