It’s not uncommon for addicts in recovery to have dreams about using. I’ve certainly had them before. Usually mine feature cocaine, which is unusual given it’s not my DoC (drug of choice). In them, I’m usually doing copious amounts of the drug, not getting high and getting extremely frustrated as a result.
Last night, I dreamt I walked in on two guys in the house, with one of the guys shooting up the other one with heroin. Both were acting extremely cool about the whole thing (well, the guy who actually used was a bit fucked up). I felt like I had been inadvertently put in the uncomfortable situation of having to rat the guys out. I did not like it.
On a related subject, I spoke with E yesterday in NC. She sounded pretty loaded (no judgment). I think she’s using dope again and I’m not out of the woods with the possibility of using myself. We’re planning on talking this morning and bringing each other up to speed on where were at. Honestly, if I fuck up (i.e. use) and get kicked out, I might just fly to NC after all and live with her.