My Job

I don’t really talk about it much here but, despite my drug addiction and eating disorder, I actually have a full time job.  How else could I afford my drug habit?  I don’t know how many $k’s I spent on the dark web this summer.

I’m only thinking about it because I’m working right now.  I’m trying to get a demo up and running for tomorrow today (I just realized it’s 12.02am).  I’m a software developer who works remotely (i.e., in my dining room), doing computational electromagnetics.  I actually have an MS in physics, if you can believe that.  I’m a remarkably high functioning junkie, I suppose (not that the bar is set very high for junkies).  I get paid very well.  This is a good thing, as I have to support two kids, an ex-wife, a current wife and an on-again, off-again hard-core junk habit.

Somehow, I managed to not get fired last year while I relapsed from March to November.  Granted, I didn’t go back to heroin until May, but I still spent many months massaging my work schedule to fit in getting high on a regular basis.  I understand the importance of maintaining my job, to support the people I love and pay for my drugs.  Even on my last relapse, I managed to work through the whole thing, shooting up when I’d get up in the morning and then working through to early-mid afternoon, when I would clock out and start shooting up again.

I also worked through my oxycodone phase at Bloomberg.  Of course, I was using all day, every day at the time.  It turns out that being high all the time at work will seriously impact one’s work performance, negatively.  I did learn my lesson, though, hence my being careful to not be high when I would work last year.

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