Thank god (Buddha?) for Refuge Recovery.
That meeting was exactly what I needed tonight to get me out of my head. I can’t pin it down to any one moment during the meeting. I just know that, about halfway through the meeting, my obsessive thoughts were lifted.
I have no idea how long this relief might last, but I’m happy it’s here for however long it lasts. Prior to the meeting, I was in the bathroom, repeating to myself in the mirror that “I don’t need to relapse” and not believing it. I believe it now.
I haven’t been leaning on my RR mentor (J) much because I’m being forced to do my primary recovery program via the 12 steps (which I’m not pleased about). I’m definitely going to keep J much more in the loop with what’s going on in my head.