I’ve been broke for the last week or so and it’s been a great constraint preventing me from relapsing. Today, I unexpectedly received a very large check. More than enough to get high and then go wherever the hell I want to go. I’m still waiting for my non-interim driver license, which may keep me grounded for a little while longer.
My mind is now playing through all sorts of scenarios, very few of which don’t end in relapse. I’ve never imagined a scenario where suddenly coming into money would ever be such a bad thing. Never. My higher power (or whatever the fuck landed me with this money) has a fucking perverse sense of humor.