If I continue like this, I will end up dead, most likely from an overdose (intentionally or unintentionally still tbd).
I am going to spend the next few days getting my health insurance sorted and am prepared to quit my job, if need be, if that will qualify me for OHP (Oregon Health Plan). Honestly, I want to quit my job anyway. Trying to hold that together while I’ve been struggling over the last year has been contributing to my repeated relapses (at least, I think it has).
I need to be in residential treatment for the next couple of months, at least. I don’t think it even matters if the treatment is for my eating disorder or my drug addiction. I just need to be removed from society for a little while. I need time to focus on myself and not worry about anything else.
I feel like I’m racing against the clock. If I don’t do this, I’m dead, literally. Based on how I’ve been relapsing, I figure I have about a month. I intend to have this sorted well before then. I have no choice at this point.