I’ve been feeling like shit today, but I refuse to even consider drugs. So, my two main process addictions are back in full force.
Upon my arrival at the Alan Club earlier, I went straight to the bathroom and self-harmed. I knew there was a decent chance of this happening, though, so I had some bandages with me so I didn’t have to wait in the bathroom for 15 minutes to stop bleeding.
I then spent the afternoon with my wife, which was quite nice, but after I dropped her off at the ashram, I hadn’t walked 100 feet before I found myself throwing up in the bushes. At least I was able to use my process addiction ‘superpower’ (hands-free purging) to keep from getting messy. I still want to purge, but I’m on the MAX right now, so I can’t see how that would at all work.
I want to work tomorrow. I hope I can. I should really start looking for another job. One with health insurance, perhaps.