True to Form

I once again fasted a couple of days only to plunge into several hours of continuous bingeing and purging. My stomach is actually sore right now (like I did too many crunches or something) from puking so much. Fan-fucking-tastic.

I’m very tired. I need to sleep. Actually, I think I need to eat without throwing up. I’m sure my current diet has far more to do with my current energy level than the amount of sleep I’m getting.

I need a new job. I fucked myself by taking my current job. With the exception of January, I’ve been without health insurance for 8 of the last 9 months now. I’m a fucking 43 year old professional (yes, and an eating disordered drug addict), but the fact is that I am at a point in my career where I shouldn’t have to worry about fucking health insurance.

I have no doubt that I am in considerably worse shape right now than I would be if I had any of my previous jobs… You know, the ones with health insurance and short/long term disability so someone like me actually has the resources to get better when I fall ill. The whole thing has got me harboring a pretty decent resentment toward my current employment situation and, as soon as I can get a job in Portland, I think I’ll have no choice but to bounce.

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