Monday, I woke up from a dream where I was lost in some sort of hallway maze and felt pretty awful. This morning, in my dream, N had relapsed and was holed up in a motel 6. I think this one made me feel even worse. Part of that has to do with how bad someone has to feel to do that and the other part is how bad it made me feel to know she had done that. I’ve done that to her twice now, in real life.
I’m not that great at interpreting dreams. Hell, usually I don’t even remember them. I’m guessing the first one relates to the fact that I always feel trapped these days, like, really unable to change anything about the bad shit in my life. I think the second one is meant to impart a little empathy in me and help me better understand the negative impact my actions have brought on others.
So, I feel pretty shitty this morning. On the plus side (?), my weigh-in just now left me unchanged, despite my massive binge/purge session last night.