New LW (TW)

I hit the lowest weight I’ve been at since I was really anorexic a few years ago. It’s not as bad as it sounds. I’m still nowhere near as thin as I was then. I put a trigger warning on this one, so I might as well throw out the numbers so as to dispel any rumors.

My scale read 164.6 lbs. this morning. I’ve been tracking my weight (MyFitnessPal), on and off, for the last several years (more on, when active in my eating disorder, and more off, when not) and that is how I know that I haven’t been this thin since I was recovering from my all-time low of 120 lbs., back in 2015. That said, at 5′ 11″, my BMI (a worthless number, I know) is still 23, so I’m not exactly underweight, though I know that certain people will comment the next time they see me.

I’m currently curious where I’ll land tomorrow. I did consume some healthy food today, an Ensure (350 calories), a small wrap (300 calories), a NutriGrain bar (120 calories), and a little over half a Cobb Salad (600-700 calories, thank you, calorie aspergers), without purging (and some other things, that I did purge). I also ran 4 miles, for the second day in a row, so that’s a little over 500 calories burned, per an on-line calculator. So, that’s a net gain of a little 1000 calories, not counting whatever I wasn’t able to purge. That’s definitely higher than my typical daily intake has been recently and, even though I am definitely hungry as I lay in bed typing this, I am convinced that I will be heavier tomorrow. We’ll see, I guess.

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