Follow Up (re: N)

I don’t know if I’m unblocked on her phone at this point. Hell, I don’t know if I was ever blocked, for that matter, as I certainly haven’t tried to ring her in the last 7 weeks.

Anyway, getting that innocuous text has kicked off a flurry of emotion that I thought I had put to rest. Isn’t it ironic that it takes losing someone to make you realize how much you love them? And, yes, I know that’s something of a recurring theme in pop culture (music, film, etc).

So, I just sent her a text. I was open and honest and really don’t know if I’ll get a response. I want one. Holy shit, I think there are very few things in my life I’ve wanted as much as this. I’m doing my best to remain unattached to the outcome, however, as that will only cause unnecessary suffering. It’s not easy and I think I’m going to have to spend a good chunk of tonight meditating to work through this.

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