I know I said I was going to drop it, but the stuff with N has get pretty worked up still. I spoke with J about it and he suggested I do I loving kindness meditation.
And, fuck, if I didn’t just sob my way through that meditation as I wished N would be happy, at ease, and free from suffering.
I do feel better now. I guess I just needed to get that out. And now I know what meditation to turn to the next time I feel like that.