I am pretty sure I am insane at the moment. I feel like I’m barreling toward a brick wall and seem to be unable to stop. Rationally, I can see what is happening and understand the consequences if I am unable to course correct.
It’s weird, though. My thought processes are all out of whack, which is the biggest problem. I can’t think myself better because my thinking is what is broken. So, what do I do? I’m talking about my crazy to some, but not the right, people. I’m scared and ashamed of what is happening in my head.
Is that ego, then, that’s keeping me from fully disclosing the extent of my insanity? Maybe. I know what I’m thinking is very self-destructive (and would hurt others in the process). So, I’m considering doing crazy stuff, why? Oh, right… because I am insane.
I don’t know. I guess things could go one of two ways. My head clears, most likely by getting over myself and sharing what is in there, or it doesn’t and I fucking burn the biggest bridge I ever have. Will sanity prevail? Only time will tell. I certainly hope so.