It has been a rough day but I’m doing the right things and am still clean. I’ve been messaging, for the last hour or so, with a couple of fellow heroin-addicted (in recovery), eating disordered (one in a full relapse, like myself) friends. It helps.
My mentor is fantastic. I really love him and what he has done and is doing for me. He was into substances a bit ‘softer’ than I was, but that’s not really a big deal, for the purposes of recovery. He is a bit out of his depth with respect to my eating disorder. That is my no means a shortcoming of his, though. I’ve found that even most mental health professionals, unless they have been specifically trained, have difficulty handling eating disordered patients.
I’m glad he’s on my side. I want to stay clean, partly, because of all the time he has invested in me. I obviously have a great many other reasons to stay clean, as well. I’m still working on the biggie: internalization.
I actually have a lot of support (and I’m using it). I’m definitely going to keep using those supports to get through this rough patch. I’m far from being out of the woods but, as long as I stay clean, I can do this.