Haven’t written much lately as I’ve been sticking to some old fashioned journaling lately. I thought I’d check in briefly, though…
So, I just picked up a pair of shorts at Target. They have a 28″ waist. My 29’s were getting loose. 28″ is the smallest waist size they make for men. I’ve only been this small one other time in my 15 years of having an ED. That was 3 or 4 years ago, the last time I was severely anorexic, when I was much smaller than I even am now.
So, yeah. I haven’t been weighing myself, which is good, but I know I’m still not eating enough. I know my stomach has definitely shrunk because, when I do eat, I eat small portions and still get full quite quickly.
I’m actually doing ok today. I made a full English breakfast for my roommate and her visiting friend. I ate, well, a small-to-moderate amount (way less than the others) and was stuffed. 20 minutes ago, I had breakfast left-overs (a bacon butty) and now feel like I’m going to explode. That’s probably going to be it for me today. The fact that I ate before 3pm is amazing. I can’t remember the last time I managed to do that.
I’m also being pretty good about not counting calories. I still have a pretty good sense of where I’m at, though, and estimate that my daily average is somewhere around 1200. That actually is an improvement but I still have some way to go.
I guess this are going ok on the substance side of the house. One of my housemates, A, and I have gotten close and have become pretty good supports for each other. That helps me tremendously as being able to help her, and not wanting to hurt her, motivates me to stay clean.