This morning, one of my close friends from my first sober house was found dead. There’s been some information to indicate that it was a suicide (as opposed to an overdose… not that that makes much difference).
I’m at the treatment center that kicked me out right before my relapse/overdose 5 months ago. It’s the first time I’ve been back since then. It’s been a very emotional experience.
Just to kick the emotions up one more notch, N just walked in (evidently for some 1-on-1 counseling). I guess I’d like to talk to her but I honestly don’t even know right now. This is obviously less than an ideal situation. I could leave but I think I’ll hang out. If she wants to talk, she knows I’m here.
I haven’t been able to eat today. I guess that’s not too surprising. I have enough trouble eating these days even when I’m not an emotional train wreck.
Oh, and I have a performance tonight. Fuck. I am very not in the mood for that just now. I suppose the show must go on, though.
One positive from all this is that I was able to connect my mentor with the treatment center to quite possibly bring some music therapy in to the center. Silver linings…