I had a bit of an epiphany last night/this morning. I knew this already, but it was driven home last night when I had the opportunity to use a little meth but was stopped by the person I was with.
That realization is that putting any substance in my body makes me want to do basically as much of any other substance I can get but hands on (though, obviously, heroin holds a special place in my heart). I don’t think that effect is as pronounced with kratom, but it must still be there.
So, I’ve immediately, in Refuge Recovery parlance, reestablished renunciation of all substances. I am highly motivated and actually believe I can do it this time. Wish me luck!