Going into my appointment tomorrow, I have three separate medical professionals that are fully aware of my situation. I also have two good friends, one here in Portland and one in Virginia, that I have told as well. I’ve chosen to confide in them because they are both eating disordered heroin addicts like myself.
The reaction I got from them was identical and unequivocal: Do not go back on Suboxone unless you have absolutely no other way of staying off of heroin. All three of us have used this substance before. Of the three, only I never had to detox off of it (because I stopped taking it so I could use heroin again. Basically, the detox from Suboxone is just as horrendous as the detox from heroin, even if I’d be doing it under a doctor’s care. I know that already, I’ve just never experienced it, though I have detoxed from heroin three times.
So, I’ve modified my plan of attack for tomorrow’s appointment. I am going to pursue every possible avenue of approach available to me to rectify the “addicted-to-kratom-and-terrified-of-using-heroin” situation that I’ve landed myself in. I figure that, if there is some other non-Suboxone option, these people will no it. That said, if Suboxone is the most rational choice (hopefully, not), I will still do it. As it stands right now, I will gladly take Suboxone for the rest of my life, if it will keep me from using heroin again.