Second Trip (TW – Drug Use) and more Anorexia

I took two tabs of acid (and about 40mg of MDMA) roughly 48 hours ago. I consulted with my therapist prior to the trip to get some guidelines and ideas to focus on. It went quite well. I found myself returning to the guidance repeatedly throughout the evening. I had a very comfortable setting and […]

Yes, I’m an Addict

My recovery currently involves my using a couple substances: primarily kratom and, to a lesser extent, marijuana. I have been very careful in my use and track how much I’m using very carefully to hopefully be able to identify if I’m starting to spiral. So far, that’s working well. I have to do that. I […]

I’m Still Crazy, but I’m Not Self-Destructing

The last week has been difficult. It seems my emotional rollercoaster has been redesigned with higher highs, lower lows and moving considerably faster. The good news is that I haven’t done anything rash in response to these feelings. In fact, I actually seem to be doing the ‘right’ thing in response to them every once […]

Impulsive Behavior

It’s been a while (I think) since I’ve spoken about E. Here’s a quick recap (since I have yet to figure out an efficient way of searching WordPress blogs): Eating Disordered Heroin Addict. We met at rehab Summer 2017. I helped her come to Portland in December of last year to go to treatment with […]

Moth Recap

I told my story last night. It went well enough but really left me dysregulated. I’m still processing this morning and trying to get my head back on straight.

The Moth

Tomorrow night, I have a ticket to a Moth StorySLAM. I’ve listened to the Moth for years on NPR and only recently discovered that it happens pretty regularly in Portland. This will be the second one I’m going to. The theme is Scandal and it seems I have a wealth of experience to draw on. […]

Why I Use

I’ve learned a lot about drugs and addiction over the last several years. 12 step programs will tell you that this knowledge will not keep you clean and, by their standard, they’ve been correct (at least for me). When I started using, if asked why I was doing it, I imagine I would have said […]