Do you believe in coincidence? Serendipity? Synchronicity? A confluence of events?
N and I found ourselves sharing a bus today on a line that neither of us rides regularly. We had about 5 minutes to catch up before she had to get off of the bus. She shared that she had just been speaking of me yesterday. On Saturday, I went to my original sober house to play some Power Grid. The gentleman who answered the door when I knocked was someone I thought wasn’t even in the state, let alone sober. And it turns out he had thought the same about me.
He and I had plenty of time to catch up. He could tell I am in a much better place than I have been in quite some time and I was perfectly honest about how I got to where I am, including my limited use of psychedelics. When I was done sharing, I realized I may have just ‘stirred the pot’ by disclosing my substance use to someone who I was fairly certain would share it. Of course, I’ve been trying to get the word out that I’ve been doing these things on my path to recovery and am comfortable with my decision to do so.
Well, that information made it back to N because one of the first things she asked about was my tripping. I tried to go into it a little bit but, given the time constraint, was able to go into anything to the depth that I would have liked to. I accepted that and started coping with the emotional dysregulation that seems to follow any sort of interaction with her (although it was not nearly as troublesome this time). I made the decision to give her space and reach out tomorrow about maybe sitting down to really catch up.
She beat me to the punch and texted a little over an hour after I returned home. We’re in the middle of making arrangements to meet now. I even offered to open my home so she could meet the dogs (and not have to worry about potentially running into anyone that might know us… I don’t know if her BF still has a contract out on my head or not).
Our whole run-in was quite ‘weird’ (her word), given the fact that we just both happened to get on the exact same not-out-usual bus at nearly the exact same time and place. I agreed with her. It was weird. I’m taking it as a sign that maybe we should try to start rebuilding our relationship. Given that she initiated the text conversation, I’m thinking she might be thinking likewise. I guess time will tell…