A week ago, I was ready to cancel my appointment to start on Suboxone again. The prescriber at the Portland DBT Institute recommended I keep the appointment, just in case, and I’m glad I did.
Whenever I really start working my recovery hard, like I started with my eating disorder three weeks ago, my other disorders become more problematic. Treating my symptoms becomes very “whack-a-mole”. A week ago, I started smoking cannabis again and I was back on kratom this weekend. Enough to experience withdrawal today.
Needless to say, when my appointment rolled around, I was ready. The only ‘con’, and it’s a big one, is that I’ll shortly be physically addicted to an opiate (buprenorphine) again. In exchange for that, I’ll have piece of mind with respect to no longer having to struggle with self-medicating. Instead, I’ll save money and manage this portion of my recovery with a doctor’s help.
I began my induction two hours ago. I can definitely feel it working. In other words, I’m ‘high’ right now. Opiate-high. I expected it but the effect is much more pronounced than I anticipated. Being a junkie, I’m enjoying the feeling tremendously. I already know the ‘high’ sensation will go away in a few days but I will certainly allow myself to enjoy it until my tolerance catches back up.
I hope this works. I think it should. My substance issues were just starting to interfere with my other treatment so I’m thinking the timing is working out well.