My Life is Getting Boring

I haven’t been writing here much lately for a couple of reasons, the most significant of which is that my life is much less interesting lately (in a good way).

I’ve been on Suboxone for about a month now and, after an initial week or two of being a bit ill as I got used to it again, it is doing for me exactly what I had hoped for. My interest in using drugs, any drugs, has dropped to zero. I have no idea how much effort and energy I was applying to stay clean prior to re-starting on that medication. I do know what I’ve been capable of since I’ve started, however:

  • I am getting more work done for my job than I ever have in my 2+ years with the company.
  • I’ve finally been able to work on my memoir again. I had managed to put together 10,000 words since I started a year and a half ago. In the last two weeks, I’ve brought that number up to 30,000. I’m targeting writing 10,000 each week and honestly expect to be fully done with my full draft by mid-April.
  • I’ve been able to dedicate time to work on hacking skills. Nothing major. Just small skills to hopefully expand my toolkit in case I want to do something cool someday.
  • I’ve been very deliberate in socializing more. I’ve already set up three weekly events  (and am working on more):
    • Sunday afternoon: Kombucha with L at Soma
    • Wednesday afternoon/evening: Gaming/movies/hacking with D et al
    • Friday evening: Refuge Recovery meeting (Dharma Rain) with built-in fellowship after the meeting
  • I’ve started coordinating a trip back to New Jersey to see my kids this summer
  • I’m continuing to work on the ‘Beirut in Portland’ project about stigma. I’ll have a video of my interview out soon and be participating in a talkback on stage at the end of May/beginning of June.

With respect to that last bullet, I’ve been being more assertive with respect to my recovery. I’m more vocal about my feelings surrounding the use of substances while in recovery and more selective about the meetings I go to. I’ve cut all 12 step meetings and the Alano Club out of my recovery. I’m going to Dharma Rain every Friday and, occasionally, hitting up Tabor Space (Sundays) and Heart of Wisdom (Mondays). I toyed briefly with the idea of being a mentor but decided against it. My thoughts on recovery have evolved to the point that they no longer fit neatly into any program, even Refuge. That said, I continue to offer support to friends and would absolutely help someone more closely if asked.

17 thoughts on “My Life is Getting Boring

  1. I love your last comment about your recovery not fitting into any specific programme. Maybe just coz’ that’s how I view it.
    You’re really doing awesomely……. I love even more that you’re going out and meeting people!
    Love light and glitter D
    Happy Wednesday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, my thoughts on recovery, and life in general, have significantly shifted over the last year. Recovery hasn’t been easy but it’s been much less stressful since I’ve learned to stop shaming myself and to trust my unique program. (I almost wrote ‘programme’. On a side note, I don’t know exactly where you live but I’ll have you know that I’m a huge anglophile and lived in Harrogate for three years immediately after I graduated university way back when).

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      1. “Anglophile” = lover of England. I did start another wordpress site but then abandoned it. I thought I deleted everything but that fact that you’re asking about it leads me to believe I wasn’t as thorough as I could have been. 😳

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      2. Got it. Well, I don’t remember how I set it up but I definitely did it through WordPress. I’m not in front of my computer right now but if you run into trouble, I could probably get you pointed in the right direction. Just let me know…

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      3. I can’t figure how to do it now. I don’t know if I should do a free one or not. I don’t know how to figure out hosting. I don’t know how to decide about domain names – if it should be .wordpress or what. I don’t know!!!!!

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      4. Sure. I’m happy to take a look and help get you started. And your course actually takes a little pressure off me. I may not get you something in the next half hour but you’ll definitely have something when you get up tomorrow.

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      5. Oh, no pressure at all. I want to set up a blog so that I can ramble without feeling like I’m destroying the purpose of my site. And I want to self host my site (someone else is hosting it for me so I don’t have hosting rights and can’t fix anything). I don’t know if I’ll get around to it but I really want my own blog as well. Without paying too much money. So like, whenever. I don’t know when I’ll have the headspace to do it anyways. But thanks…

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  2. Whoa! I like where you’re going with this. I’ve thought about moving my site onto my own server. It’s more complicated but, yeah, you don’t have to pay for it. I think WordPress provides software to host your own site but I’ve never really looked into it that closely. It’ll take a bit longer to figure all that out. For now, I’ll provide info on doing it the same way your doing this one and try to take a closer look at what you’re talking about this weekend (if that’s ok with you).

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  3. Just to give a ‘for instance’ of what you’d have to deal with: you’ll need to set up a computer on your home network to act as a server and then configure your home router do direct anyone hitting your ip address to go to that machine on your home network. Oh, and you’ll still need to buy whatever url you want to go with (from godaddy or something like that) so it still won’t be completely free. I just wanted to give you an idea of what is involved in going down that road.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I should just figure out self hosting and domain name. Though maybe a domain name comes along with self hosting? I actually looked all of this up 2 years ago or so before I started this site but then someone did it for me and I forgot it all (basically someone set my site up with their hosting. So I didn’t have to do anything to set it up. I want to self host now and get another blog site).

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