I just realized that it has been ages since I’ve checked in here. I’ve been very busy and very stressed the last several weeks. My wife and I are a few weeks away from our three year anniversary. It will be the first anniversary that we will actually get to spend together. We were married in June 2016. In January 2017, she left New Jersey for Florida for a few weeks for a few weeks and never returned. Shortly after arriving in Florida, she relapsed. Then I relapsed. Then the shit hit the fan.

She landed in Portland about two years ago and has been living in a spiritual commune during that time. I arrived several months later and spent half a year in sober living before moving into the home that I’m currently in. Our plan was to heal and eventually move back together. The place that she lives in closing and we are both doing better. So, we decided to get back together.

I initially received push back from my roommate and moving her in with us. That’s fair enough. She shouldn’t just rubber stamp something as important as that but her reluctance seemed disproportionate to the request. I wasn’t asking to move a stranger in with us… the woman is my wife.

Yesterday, she gave the ok and my wife will be moving in over the next two weeks. That’s fantastic and I’m very excited about it I did not handle the stress associated with helping this happen well at all. I ‘acted out’ a week ago on Sunday and am very fortunate that I did not royally fuck shit up.

I am also experiencing stress with the move in. That’s to be expected too. We haven’t lived together for almost 2 and a half years. That’s about the same amount of time we were together. We have our own relationship shit like anyone else. She has brought up the idea of seeing a couples therapist and I think that’s a great idea so I’m expecting that that will happen.

Yesterday, we had a small argument about my obsession with being on time for things. We’ve had similar arguments before. Unlike arguments in the past, however, I actually handled it well (and so did she). We talked things out and actually came out better when everything was said and done. I can’t speak for her but that way I handled the situation was healthier than I ever have before which is encouraging.

It’s scary and exciting to be entering into this new phase of recovery.

2 thoughts on “Cohabitation

  1. Idk pal, as much as crummy things may be crumb covered, worry and stress (especially in the face of major change) from my pov just shows how much you care (grand scheme) and in my extra humble opinion (roflcopter) I feel that your anxiety is masked/misinterpreted//// elation holding onto all of the “oh fuck” balloons that come with anything different.

    The simple fact that you two are able to communicate, move forward, maintain a long distance relationship, etc, and your willingness to engage in her suggestions for counselling AND(!!) stand your ground to have her included in your living space makes my brain see images of your heart lit up like pre-LED tokyo, glowing and happy and full of so much goodness. So much potential for near immediate joyousness haha

    (skip this part) I just (5 months ago….) left (was ejected from…..) my fiance-ship and in all of those years not once did his sentiment towards my inclusivity to his world make my skin texturize with positive heebie jeebies like reading this did.

    (resume here) This is now 100% longer than I anticipated, but I guess I just wanted to say I’m fucking happy for you, both of you. “Acting out” fucking happens, some folks call it “reacting” haha, I hope the callousness/negative whatevers of others doesn’t impact the excitement that permeates through this lil pixel box of madness.

    All of my best to you x (THE LOT OF YOU!)

    Liked by 1 person

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