I just realized that it has been ages since I’ve checked in here. I’ve been very busy and very stressed the last several weeks. My wife and I are a few weeks away from our three year anniversary. It will be the first anniversary that we will actually get to spend together. We were married in June 2016. In January 2017, she left New Jersey for Florida for a few weeks for a few weeks and never returned. Shortly after arriving in Florida, she relapsed. Then I relapsed. Then the shit hit the fan.
She landed in Portland about two years ago and has been living in a spiritual commune during that time. I arrived several months later and spent half a year in sober living before moving into the home that I’m currently in. Our plan was to heal and eventually move back together. The place that she lives in closing and we are both doing better. So, we decided to get back together.
I initially received push back from my roommate and moving her in with us. That’s fair enough. She shouldn’t just rubber stamp something as important as that but her reluctance seemed disproportionate to the request. I wasn’t asking to move a stranger in with us… the woman is my wife.
Yesterday, she gave the ok and my wife will be moving in over the next two weeks. That’s fantastic and I’m very excited about it I did not handle the stress associated with helping this happen well at all. I ‘acted out’ a week ago on Sunday and am very fortunate that I did not royally fuck shit up.
I am also experiencing stress with the move in. That’s to be expected too. We haven’t lived together for almost 2 and a half years. That’s about the same amount of time we were together. We have our own relationship shit like anyone else. She has brought up the idea of seeing a couples therapist and I think that’s a great idea so I’m expecting that that will happen.
Yesterday, we had a small argument about my obsession with being on time for things. We’ve had similar arguments before. Unlike arguments in the past, however, I actually handled it well (and so did she). We talked things out and actually came out better when everything was said and done. I can’t speak for her but that way I handled the situation was healthier than I ever have before which is encouraging.
It’s scary and exciting to be entering into this new phase of recovery.