Clean Blood

A week ago, I finally got tested for HIV and Hepatitis. That was the first time I had had that done since I went into rehab in July of 2017. I’m not sure why it took me so long to get that done. I certainly engaged in behaviors since that time that opened me up […]

Insanity

I began journaling on April 16th, 2017 and am on to my third journal at this point. The first journal wraps up as I left New Jersey, just before Labor Day of 2017. The second journal picks up with my arrival in Utah and tracks through the end of August 2018 (the last entry actually […]

Stigma and Anonymity

I mentioned yesterday that the woman in charge of the ‘Beirut in Portland’ project had completed editing my interview about the stigma associated with my mental health issues. I had a lengthy discussion with my therapist about what to do now and have e-mailed the woman to discuss where to go from here. In the […]

Health Insurance in the US is a Miserable Affair

My IOP at the Portland DBT Institute is over. Last Friday wound up being my last day. Even though my former treatment team thinks that I would benefit from additional time in the program (and I agree with their assessment) the ‘gold’ insurance plan that I bought on the marketplace decided that I’m evidently healthy […]

Radical Acceptance

I’m tired. Starting back on Suboxone has left me worn out this week… and has caused me to start doubting my decision. I keep returning to the radical acceptance that I’ve done surrounding my decision. I know that I’ve had the most stable period of my adult life when I was on Suboxone three years […]

Whack-A-Mole

I referenced the whack-a-mole behavior that I go through with symptoms recently. My ability to start Suboxone a few days ago was probably one of the most significant steps I’ve taken to combat that. Today, I started feeling pretty positive about my substance struggles as the medicine really started to kick in. And, as I […]

Suboxone

A week ago, I was ready to cancel my appointment to start on Suboxone again. The prescriber at the Portland DBT Institute recommended I keep the appointment, just in case, and I’m glad I did. Whenever I really start working my recovery hard, like I started with my eating disorder three weeks ago, my other […]