Love

I got hit with a huge wave of love last night. It wasn’t to the point of discomfort like I had trouble with last month. I was watching television (The Great British Baking show) when it hit me. I was so happy, I literally cried. It was almost the same intensity as the fear I […]

Black and White Thinking

Ok. So, I had intended to never post here again and talk exclusively about recovery on the YouTube channel I just started (YouTube: Borderline Bloke). This was once again a case of black and white thinking… something that I have a LOT of trouble with. In fact, this week’s episode on YouTube is going to […]

Thank You For Following This Blog

I started this blog almost 4 years ago and, arguably, captured myself at my sickest during that time. I used this blog to blow of steam and talk about things that I could talk about with no one else. I did this anonymously, for fear of retribution IRL. In August of last year, I started […]

Fear (TW – Drugs)

Another marker of BPD is finding fear, well, everywhere. I know I go through life scared of just about everything I could be scared of. I always think I’m about to be fired. A delayed response to a text means I’m now despised by my BFF. There are no emotionally neutral faces… only angry ones. […]

Too Much Love

One of the hallmarks of borderline personality disorder is experiencing incredibly intense emotions and having to wait a long time for those emotions to dissipate. Most of the time, those emotions are what you would expect them to be: anxiety, fear, depression, etc. For the last few days, I’ve been suffering (yes, suffering) from an […]

Exposed, Nervous and Overwhelmed

My therapist and I decided it would be a good idea to pull out the emotion wheel and try to identify the emotions that have been pervading my life recently. It came up because I never dream but I have been lately a lot. And, yes, I know that everyone dreams so I guess I […]

Memoir as Therapy

Since I’ve been feeling better the last month or two, I’ve gone back to working on my book and have found myself capable of writing quite a bit. In the last 3 weeks, I’ve written about 30,000 words, bringing my total up to roughly 40,000, which I figure is about half of what the full […]