Health Insurance in the US is a Miserable Affair

My IOP at the Portland DBT Institute is over. Last Friday wound up being my last day. Even though my former treatment team thinks that I would benefit from additional time in the program (and I agree with their assessment) the ‘gold’ insurance plan that I bought on the marketplace decided that I’m evidently healthy […]

Radical Acceptance

I’m tired. Starting back on Suboxone has left me worn out this week… and has caused me to start doubting my decision. I keep returning to the radical acceptance that I’ve done surrounding my decision. I know that I’ve had the most stable period of my adult life when I was on Suboxone three years […]

Whack-A-Mole

I referenced the whack-a-mole behavior that I go through with symptoms recently. My ability to start Suboxone a few days ago was probably one of the most significant steps I’ve taken to combat that. Today, I started feeling pretty positive about my substance struggles as the medicine really started to kick in. And, as I […]

Suboxone

A week ago, I was ready to cancel my appointment to start on Suboxone again. The prescriber at the Portland DBT Institute recommended I keep the appointment, just in case, and I’m glad I did. Whenever I really start working my recovery hard, like I started with my eating disorder three weeks ago, my other […]

Coincidence?

Do you believe in coincidence? Serendipity? Synchronicity? A confluence of events? N and I found ourselves sharing a bus today on a line that neither of us rides regularly. We had about 5 minutes to catch up before she had to get off of the bus. She shared that she had just been speaking of […]

No Longer Stoned (TW – Cannabis, Restricting)

I basically spent the entire month of December stoned (hence the relative lack of posts). I stopped two days ago because I have proven to myself once more that cannabis is not an effective long term solution for me. Nothing bad happened per se, but after a month of using it, I became more unstable […]

Another Person Trying to Find the Gray

On the car ride home from a Refuge Recovery meeting this morning, one of my friend’s started to talk about her own moderate cannabis use. Needless to say, this got my attention. We were with my mentor (J) and his S.O. (S) who were evidently aware of her use already. I still haven’t told them […]