Second Trip (TW – Drug Use) and more Anorexia

I took two tabs of acid (and about 40mg of MDMA) roughly 48 hours ago. I consulted with my therapist prior to the trip to get some guidelines and ideas to focus on. It went quite well. I found myself returning to the guidance repeatedly throughout the evening. I had a very comfortable setting and […]

Yes, I’m an Addict

My recovery currently involves my using a couple substances: primarily kratom and, to a lesser extent, marijuana. I have been very careful in my use and track how much I’m using very carefully to hopefully be able to identify if I’m starting to spiral. So far, that’s working well. I have to do that. I […]

Candy Flipping

I want to try to get some of my experience down, while it’s still relatively fresh. Yesterday, I took some MDMA. Several hours later, I took some more, augmented by a tab of LSD (that’s the “candy flipping”). A few hours after that, I took one more hit of acid and them retired to my […]

First Proper Use of Psychedelics

Today was my birthday. As part of the celebration, I partook of two substances I have never used before: MDMA and LSD, both by themselves and combined (candy-flipping). My lifetime fears of a bad trip are gone. I’m still tripping pretty hard right now. I’m settling in to chill for the remainder of the evening, […]

Off the Rails (Briefly), Manipulative as Fuck (Always)

I tried to use less kratom and more weed today, in and effort to get a similar effect with a different drug cocktail. It didn’t work and I was reminded how I still really don’t much care for being stoned. I wound up very suicidal and craving heroin as a result. I finally returned home […]

Through the Looking Glass

In less than 24 hours, I have had my idea of what my recovery should look like turned completely upside down. Yesterday, after the highly emotional conversation with my roommate, new ground rules were established that allowed and, to a certain extent (in the name of harm reduction), encouraged the use of certain substances in […]

Confession

I’ve been using kratom, on and off, for about 2 months now, to keep my heroin urges at bay and reduce my suicidal ideation. It’s been working but keeping it from my roommate has been eating me up inside. So, today I made my confession. I spoke to my therapist first. She told me to […]