Fail

I just purged. I’ve been eating all day and hating it, hating myself and I acted out. Now, I’m going to meet my friends from EDA for a concert in Sellwood Park. I feel it’s a little like going to an AA meeting, drunk. One of my friends just got there. I’ll talk to here. […]

ED Update (TW)

Since I moved, I’ve been trying to eat ‘better’. I really just need to make a fucking meal plan and eat to it. So far, ‘better’ has basically come out as eating ‘a little more’ and, not surprisingly, has resulted in small purges the last few days. And not having a scale is making me […]

Feeling Tired? Or Strange? I Don’t Know…

I’m think I’m actually definitely tired. I haven’t gotten enough calories today (surprise). I ate a very small breakfast (a hard boiled egg). I also had rather modest meals for lunch and dinner… and purged a good chunk of each of those. I also walked at least 10 miles today, so there’s that to. I […]

Not Good – ED Edition (TW)

Fuck. My eating was very not good today. I ran 7+ miles and didn’t eat anything until 8pm. I decided to go with something that I thought I could eat (Chicken Tikka Masala). I was able to eat, most of it anyway, but I immediately went into autopilot. It was a fucking blur. I honestly […]

Does Purging Cause Water Retention?

I think it does. Whenever I purge in the evening, I always seem to weigh a lot more in the morning. For instance, I was six pounds heavier this morning than I was yesterday. For those unfamiliar, it takes an increase of 3500 above your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) to gain a pound (or a […]

New LW (TW)

I hit the lowest weight I’ve been at since I was really anorexic a few years ago. It’s not as bad as it sounds. I’m still nowhere near as thin as I was then. I put a trigger warning on this one, so I might as well throw out the numbers so as to dispel […]