Update: I just did my weekly video on this subject. In the last week or two, I’ve learned some interesting things about myself. I learned that, among the various ‘voices’ that I have running around in my head, there are two in particular that are responsible for a great deal of my suffering. I call […]

Recap (and some I Ching)

That brief text from N obviously threw me for a loop today. I just wanted to put out a few more items of interest on the subject: I was actually creating a board on Pinterest about my feelings toward N when the text message showed up around midnight last night (weird). Some of those pins, […]

I Ching for the Mess I’ve Put Myself in.

If you haven’t read my previous blog about my relapse and where I’m at now.  I just got the following reading from the I Ching on the situation.  I have my own interpretation of it, but I’d love for any of you to comment about it as well…

15. Qiān (Authenticity)

I just did an I Ching reading to see where I sit with respect to all the support I’ve been providing to various individuals. Pride generates enthusiasm and inspirational freedom, but humility keeps you focused on how you tread on the path so you don’t become disconnected from what is right for you. 15. Qiān […]

Feature Film

I know that this isn’t original and that others have felt like this before, but for the last several years, I feel my life has been progressing as if it were a movie.  All this crazy shit has been happening to me, mostly because of my drug addiction, and a lot of the time it’s […]


As a lifelong atheist (and even now, as a Taoist, I guess I’m still an atheist in the strictest sense of the term), I have never believed in miracles.  Right now, I don’t know what else to call what has happened to me in the last 6 or 7 hours. I was certain, or nearly […]


Not surprisingly, with our similar set of ‘issues’, N and I tend to be codependent. With her feeling like shit this week, and me not being able to do anything about it, I finally wound up in the shit yesterday, as well. For me, it looked like me being very active in my eating disorder. […]