One Year Ago (TW – photo)

I just came across this photo. It was taken October 7th of last year. At the time, I was a little over halfway through my time in Utah with my family and eagerly exploring the dark web markets I had just unearthed. To those unfamiliar, the marks on my arm near my elbow are track […]

Impulse Tattoo

I self-harmed today. Not in the way I normally do though. No. Today, while at the Rose City Comic Con, I passed a tattoo booth and decided spontaneously to get a tattoo. It was of the Silence from Doctor Who. I was going to post a photo but the only photo is on my phone. […]

Aaand… Now I’m Feeling Suicidal

Coming on the heels of being horrendously triggered a few hours ago (and between one of the multiple sprints I’ve had to make to the bathroom tonight), I was on Facebook and learned that N graduated from treatment yesterday. Again, this occurs exactly 6 months from the day that I mentally fucked her and destroyed […]

Triggered AF

A and I went to the International Overdose Awareness Memorial in downtown Portland. They evidently wrapped up early, though. And, joy of joys, we parked right across the street from the needle exchange (and four junkies who were congregating there)… the same needle exchange I was at 6 months ago to the day, picking up […]

I Hate You. Don’t Leave Me.

I Hate You. Don’t Leave Me is one of the first, if not the first, books written for the layperson about borderline personality disorder (BPD). My wife gets it for people when they discover they, or someone they know, struggle with BPD. I just bought a copy for my roommate to give her a grounding […]

Fox’s Memorial

I have been quite a wreck the last couple of days. Fox’s memorial service was two days ago. I went a little early, to catch up with people I don’t see very often. As the service approached, I started to feel very uneasy about going in. I touched base with a couple of people about […]

Triggered AF

OMG! I am tremendously triggered at the moment. The day started off ok and I actually did something fairly proactive with respect to protecting myself against a future relapse, which is fantastic. Unfortunately, I think that put the thought in my head and it has been spinning out of control ever since. I mentioned it […]