Cohabitation

I just realized that it has been ages since I’ve checked in here. I’ve been very busy and very stressed the last several weeks. My wife and I are a few weeks away from our three year anniversary. It will be the first anniversary that we will actually get to spend together. We were married […]

Suicide Prevention

Well, I am late getting started on work today because I came across an article that I’ve been trying to share with as many people as possible that I think it may be relevant for. Can We Stop Suicides? In a nutshell, ketamine can evidently quickly and significantly reduce suicidal ideation and can be legally […]

Existential Crisis (TW – Suicidal Ideation)

I finally watched the season opener of Doctor Who just now. I spent most of the time trying to relax my jaw which I think has been clenched for a long time (months?). I’m still catching myself and having to consciously unclench it over and over again. I’m a couple days of cannabis and tapering […]

Dysregulated

I blocked N on my phone about a month ago because every single fucking time we text, I get very dysregulated. Unfortunately, the SMS widget on my computer doesn’t know I blocked it. So, this morning I woke up to and unexpected text and engaged. We actually had what was probably the longest conversation since […]

Substance Use

I hate that I’m using again. I hate that, as bad as I feel about using, it feels better than not having a substance in my body. I could still be trying to stay 100% abstinent but… why? I usually feel ok for, maybe, 2-4 weeks after I first get clean. Then, the old thoughts […]