No Longer Stoned (TW – Cannabis, Restricting)

I basically spent the entire month of December stoned (hence the relative lack of posts). I stopped two days ago because I have proven to myself once more that cannabis is not an effective long term solution for me. Nothing bad happened per se, but after a month of using it, I became more unstable […]

Another Person Trying to Find the Gray

On the car ride home from a Refuge Recovery meeting this morning, one of my friend’s started to talk about her own moderate cannabis use. Needless to say, this got my attention. We were with my mentor (J) and his S.O. (S) who were evidently aware of her use already. I still haven’t told them […]

Portland DBT Institute

Portland is home to a health care facility that is ideally suited to my needs. For those unaware, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is considered the ‘gold standard’ for treating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I’ve acknowledged that, until I treat that primary aspect of my mental illness, the odds of me becoming anorexic again or shooting […]

Suicide Prevention

Well, I am late getting started on work today because I came across an article that I’ve been trying to share with as many people as possible that I think it may be relevant for. Can We Stop Suicides? In a nutshell, ketamine can evidently quickly and significantly reduce suicidal ideation and can be legally […]

Happy Thanksgiving (TW)

I’m in a relatively good place right now and am allowing it to happen without desperately trying to cling to it. That was not the case last night or for most of the morning. I have put a plan in place to safely get through the day and have a lot of support from my […]

Things Are Getting a Little Better

I almost don’t even want to write that as the title of this entry, less the modest improvement I’m seeing slips away, but I need to document when this happens otherwise I have tremendous difficulty remembering the ‘good times’ when I’m feeling like shit. Sunday was a pretty good day for me for almost the […]

Gratitude

I really do have a pretty comfortable life, from a materialistic point of view, and I thought I’d take a moment to recognize it. I make a good living. I live in a very nice house with fantastic roommates. I have a lot of support, both in my community and from my mental health team, […]