Father’s Day

It has been about two weeks since I opened my eyes to the nature of my relationship with my wife (and the many others before her) and it has been an interesting journey so far. I’ve been doing a lot of DBT to deal with the emotions but it has not been easy. I’ve struggled […]

Meal Planning

Well, per L’s suggestion, I ate three meals today. It certainly wasn’t an out and out success though. Given my symptoms the last week, I’ve been freaked out to eat any more than 200-300 calories at a go, less I wind up running to the bathroom and throwing up. So, the success is me eating […]


Fucked up Irrational Neurotic Emotional For those of you not as familiar with modern psychological treatment, this acronym is commonly understood amongst the patients and, I assume, the professionals too. Whenever one of us says that “we’re fine”, we are lying. I just read, and identified, with this (https://pin.it/maqgiiu2y7apef) on Pinterest. This in turn made […]

Am I in Hell?

It feels like it, more and more, these days. It seems like it shouldn’t be that way. I have a good job, an acceptable living situation, more clean time than I’ve had in ages, a solid support network, etc. Yet, every day I am intensely uncomfortable. My eating is a double-edged sword. If I starve, […]

EDA Meeting

I finally opened up about the state of my eating disorder at the EDA meeting, without going into any potentially triggering details. It was nice to get it off my chest to people who truly understand the struggle. I feel better coming out if it. I’m glad I went. I was feeling so much shame […]

Audition Today

I’m feeling better today than I have the last several days. I’m not 100% by any stretch of the imagination, but, better. And just in time for my audition in 2 hours. I┬ádon’t know if I’ve mentioned it here before so… a quick synopsis: it’s for a July performance of A Midsummer Night’s Dream (my […]

Orcish Post-Mortem

The first act of Romeo and Juliet was pretty solid and enjoyable. After the intermission, however, it went off the rails. The acting was still respectable, although Juliet did make a small error and then inadvertently apologized to the audience. No, the real problem was on the tech side. It seemed like the second act […]