Portland DBT Institute

Portland is home to a health care facility that is ideally suited to my needs. For those unaware, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is considered the ‘gold standard’ for treating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I’ve acknowledged that, until I treat that primary aspect of my mental illness, the odds of me becoming anorexic again or shooting […]

Dial It Back

I’ve been holding off on writing a bit because I have been at a loss for words recently. It turns out that the mere act of ordering substances online triggered me far worse than I anticipated. When the first thing arrived on Thursday (MDMA), I instantly forgot about using these things to try to improve […]

Dark Web Redux (TW – Rolling)

This was really hard to write. I started writing it 5 days ago. And I just accidentally erased it but I will do my best to recreate. Trigger Warning: I am rolling hard (MDMA) right now. In a nutshell, on Saturday, my roommate A approached me out back having a cigarette and told me to […]

Suicide Prevention

Well, I am late getting started on work today because I came across an article that I’ve been trying to share with as many people as possible that I think it may be relevant for. Can We Stop Suicides? In a nutshell, ketamine can evidently quickly and significantly reduce suicidal ideation and can be legally […]

White, Male Privilege

I’m caucasian and male (though I obviously have a pretty serious mental illness… and don’t forget the fact that I’m a heroin addict). I’ve rarely noticed explicit benefits of being such but I know that they’re there. I just read back to back Op-Eds in the New York Times that helped remind me of that […]

Existential Crisis (TW – Suicidal Ideation)

I finally watched the season opener of Doctor Who just now. I spent most of the time trying to relax my jaw which I think has been clenched for a long time (months?). I’m still catching myself and having to consciously unclench it over and over again. I’m a couple days of cannabis and tapering […]